That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
