What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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