I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize