Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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