wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
