I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
