i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
