no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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