he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
