I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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