It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
