My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
