i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize