the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
