I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
