Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
