she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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