I bet he comes in French.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
