can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
