Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
