I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
