butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize