needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
