ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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