I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize