I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize