I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
