I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
