i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
