I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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