also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
