her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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