clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
