Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
