that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
