please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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