I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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