i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
