...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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