she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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