im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
