if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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