I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
