there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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