i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
