HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going