I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's rum buckets o'clock
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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