Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
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I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything