we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my being single is dangerous.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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