At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
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If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.