my shit smells like andre
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize