I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
