ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
