at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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