I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
How external is "for external use only"?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
