so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
