Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
