I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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