i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
